Friday, September 30, 2011

Creatures


First creature? A little Baby will be joining our family in April 2012!! Yay!! I have been really sick this first trimester. I am currently 12 weeks along.. here's an insight to my journey...

4 1/2 weeks

Just found out I was pregnant a little over a week ago. Strangely enough I knew even before I took the test that this little one would be coming at the end of March. So much that I took three pregnancy tests before one came out positive. I waited 3 days and took another one because I wanted to make sure the pregnancy was hanging on this time. I got the darkest line I had ever had before. I knew this one was staying for the long haul.

I have been sick ever since I found out. It actually prompted me to take the one that turned out positive. Well, that and the fact I wanted to make sure I was before I worked with certain radioisotopes, which turned out to be perfect timing to let them know I couldn't.

I have been feeling absolutely crazy when it comes to emotions lately. Also with both of my other pregnancies I didn't feel sick or pregnant until I was 8 weeks along. I am not even 5 yet! I know, I know - two weeks doesn't make that much difference. But I feel so sick that I feel like I need to eat constantly. I don't want to gain a ton of weight, but yet again, I know if I start throwing up- it won't stop. My goal this time around is to avoid having to go get IV fluids... so I guess we will see how that turns out.

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5 1/2 weeks

I am SOOO TIRED. I am having the hardest time staying awake these last few days. Honestly- wow. Still nauseated constantly, althought I am quite proud to say I haven't thrown up yet!. Yay :D . It was so funny too, because yesterday Trent noticed me holding my tummy, looking pale I am sure, and he runs to get a cracker for me to eat yelling, "Oh no you don't!! Not on my watch!" hahaha. It was all I could do to keep from laughing hysterically.

Can't seem to think straight either. Not sure if it's from the tiredness, or just 'pregnancy brain'. Haha. And I start a new job in a couple of days.. this should be fun ;) Wish me luck!

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8 weeks

Okay.. I feel really sick. Ugh. Salty foods are the only thing that sounds good, and sweets are way out of the picture. Can barely keep anything down, and I am getting pretty weak. Went to the doctors the other day, and found out I was actually a week behind of where I thought I was. So today I was suppose to be 9 weeks. Darn. One more week added on to the fun of being sick :) Decided I need to find another OB. My first one with the boys was wonderful, but she moved out of state (insert pouty face). And the doctor I went to this time said I need an additional doctor to follow me during this pregnancy. Two doctors to follow? NO THANKS. Ha. So hope I can find a good one. Guess we'll see.

The first trimester is always the hardest for me. You're tired, sick, bloated, emotional, and people don't really know you're even pregnant yet - so you don't have a good excuse! It's hard starting a new job while trying to use all the energy you have. But I am so excited!! In the end, it will all be worth it :)


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10 weeks

Can barely think, let alone stop from throwing up. Ugh. I had to go get IV fluids twice now resulting in 3 liters of fluid. This part is really hard- being sick and tired like this. Good news though? I found a great doctor (she was the on-call doc when I had to get fluids) and I just love her so far! She seems to really care about her patients. I am happy about that. Her name is Dr. Lister.

I started taking a few things to help stop me from being too dehydrated from all the nausea and vomiting. They have helped so far. Hopefully I am on the downward spiral now.. that's the hope anyway. I think my belly is starting to poke out a little now too.. not sure if it's the little one, or if I am just bloated - lol. But still excited for this little one. It makes this all worth it in the end :).

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11 weeks

I hate feeling sick like this. It is really hard. Can't drink straight water ( I will throw it right up) , but I can drink juice or lemonade, which is nice because I always feel thirsty. Can only get things that sound good, otherwise they come up to. Feel icky and tired all the time. And now I am starting to feel like my tummy is expanding! This is the odd stage where people aren't sure if you are gaining weight or if you're pregnant. Haha.

Liking salty foods better than sweets, and I am still constantly tired. We'll see if I start to feel better by next week. Only two more weeks until I am out of my 1st trimester .Wahoo.


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12 weeks

Starting to come out a little bit of the brain fog. Phew. Hope I am finally on the downward spiral now. Had to get two more liters of fluids a couple of days ago.. hopefully that was my last! I got to the point I literally thought I was dying. Haha. Well it's nice now though, because I finally can realize that a little precious life is growing inside me, and I am super excited for this little one to join us in a few 6 months!


* Second creature?? All the ones at the ZOO! We had such a fun time at the zoo the other day. Jack kept screaming, "I'm so excited!!" He loved the fact that Hayden was there too. Can't pass up a good time with a good friend! I can't believe how many monkeys there have there! haha.





* Third and final creature? A Vulcan. Okay, okay so it's not a creature. But it sure sounds like one! Trent got this fun little toy the other day and is just in love with it. It reminds me a little bit of the motorcycle we had after we first got married. That was a 1986 Yamaha Virago. Ha, this one is a little newer, and a little bigger. But just as fun!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Eyes wide open


This year has been an interesting one so far. Lots of things urging me to discover, or be a part of them. Why is it that I find myself always searching for either things that don't make sense, or new ways to let myself go completely? And then one day it all made sense. Right now I am just living this wild story of mine. And it's the scariest thing I have ever done!

When you are always bracing for the next tough moment to rock your life….you find yourself in a space that feels always like transition. So when you finally reach a place where tough things only happen the form of dirty laundry and busy days, the feeling of “settled” and “safe” feel daunting and scary. How do you accept that everything is great? Everything is okay? Backwards….but true. Not every day is a battle, not every day is survival. Some days….it is. Some months….it is. Some years….it feels like life is trying to kill you. But then the lull and happiness comes back around and shakes our shoulders to say, “It’s all okay! You are alive and the air is still clear! ENJOY IT!”…..and I stand, shaking, because I don’t know how to be still and not in transition. But I am learning.

Yet I am still trying to pull myself constantly back into that transition phase. And that's how I have realized Trent and I both live. That's why we buy houses, we take risks... because we both are not sure of how to deal with feeling "settled". Maybe.. one day when we get older and finally feel like taking a breath. But right now.. we just seem to keep on running.

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Blue eyed babies. Aren't they cute!!? We got to spend some great time with Jenni, David and their sweet 3 little ones. They all had so much fun playing together. Love how times flies when you're having fun.



Can never go wrong with wheels and hula hoops. Hope you're having fun out there!!