curve ball

I've debated over and over again whether to tell people or not. Those who I have told have been great support, and there are some that get that 'look' when I tell them. I've realized that maybe not telling can be better than getting that 'look'. But it is my curve ball, and I feel like sharing - so here is goes... I have a brain tumor. WHAT?!? Yeah, crazy huh? Of course I would, I get ALL the crazy weird stuff. And not only is it a brain tumor, it accounts for only 1% of all intercranial (brain) tumors. The good news? It's not cancer, it's not malignant- it's benign. Wheww.. good news right? Well yes. But do we still need to worry... well yeah. It's located in the center of my brain right at the Foramen of Monro. "huh?" . That means that at any point it could move and block off all cerebral spinal fluid and cause sudden death. Well good thing they found it!! The good news ~ it's not big enough right now to cause problems of that nature - the verdict? Annual MRI's until it gets to a size that it could cause those problems. Anywhere from a couple of years to 10-15. That's their guess. Unless for some reason I start to get a constant headache that doesn't go away for a few days, then I need to get to the doctor immediately. Good thing I know now though, because I am not one who would just go to the doctor for a headache. I have seen two different Neurosurgeons.. now I'm at the point where I need to decided which one will eventually have to go in and take it out. The first doctor said he would do it endoscopically (with a small scope) but only when it started causing hydrocephalus (pressure on the brain). The second doctor I know is an absolutely amazing surgeon (have many good sources). He said he would do a craniotomy (remove part of the skull) so he could use both eyes. He also said he will take it out when it gets to a certain size, "No matter what". Because then it could cause irreversable damage with very short notice. I am leaning towards the second Neurosurgeon because I know he would do a good job, and the fact that he is leaning towards the cautionary side. But the fact of having part of my skull removed and having to shave my head don't seem the most appealing to me. Why don't they take it out now? ~ Because it is causing no problems now, the risks outweigh the benefit. Makes sense, I mean it is brain surgery for crying out loud. I had my freak out moment a few weeks back before I had seen either of the Neurosurgeons. The stuff you read online about it can really scare ya. The official name for it is - Colloid Cyst of the Third Ventricle, if you care to google it. But my wonderful rock of a husband calmly held my hand and said, "There is no reason to freak out now, we don't know enough to do so right now. Lets just wait and see what they have to say." I am so grateful for him and all he does for me. As of now, all I get to do is wait until my next MRI to make sure it's not growing too quickly.
How am I? I'm okay. There are many others out there who are fighting much harder battles then this. I've finally gotten to a stage where I can start joking about it. "Whoops! Did I forget that? Well, must be my brain tumor!"

It's the white ball right in the middle of the MRI

*~* gotta love may *~*

I know what your thinking.... what is this a picture of? Well I will tell you. It's a picture of the view from...

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Our Cabin! That's right, we got a cabin. Call us crazy, but we're pretty excited about it. It is the highest cabin located in Scare canyon, and it sits on 40 acres! Hello to some good memories to come.

Yup, this is the fire pit!

So what else has been going on in our lives? I'll tell ya. Carol has a few weeks of school left before summer break, and Mike has been dating a cute gal named Katie (as you can see below), and me? I just had a birthday!! I am now 24, man I feel like I'm getting old - lol!

Yay for ice cream cake!

Jack helped me blow out the candles, he is such a good helper!

Jack wasn't too interested in the cake.. so Carol helped him eat some vegetables. What a good aunt!

Blake got blessed on Mother's Day. I don't think there could be a better gift than that. I know most kids are a little younger when they get blessed, but that's ok. :) Jack was the only kid making noises during the blessing. He kept asking for water! OOoops, forgot his sippy cup this time. Not the best Sunday to forget it lol. But it was still a good time.

Man I've been so exhausted these last few weeks. Blake still sometimes gets up twice during the night. And with working until 2 am every other week, and then Jack getting up between 7-8.. I am tired! I think I have put too much on my plate these last few weeks. I still take call one weekend a month at Davis hospital, and then I have opted to judge a few gymnastics meets these last couple months. Hopefully in June it will start to slow down a little bit.

So I swear the minute Jack turned 2... he has turned into.. well a 2 year old! Man that kid can push your buttons, I think he just likes to try to get reactions from everyone. Which is funny, because I think that is a trait in all the Livingstons (haha love you guys). I am glad it has started to get warm, because Jack just LOVES being outside, and he gets so excited when he sees a slide! He will even bring the magnadoodle over to you and ask you to draw a slide for him. Haha he sure is entertaining. He has started to yell real loud lately.. and at first we would tell him he had to go to time out if he did, and then that never helped even when we put him there. So then whenever he starts yelling now I just ask him what a cow says... the he stops yelling, and in a sweet voice he says, "mooo". haha then he just forgets what he was doing before. Ha, seems like a much better approach for now anyways!

Blake is my little cabbage patch kid. Oh he is such a dang cutie. I seriously always want to eat those cheeks! He is such a happy baby, smiling at everything and is for the most part pretty darn content with anything. Well, except the carseat (no idea why!). Ha. He is still drooling like crazy. We put him in the exersaucer today, and he was just happy as a clam. It was so funny watching him turn himself around and try to eat everything he could reach. He does however have a firey little temper. One second hes grinning from ear to ear, and one thing makes him mad and he is gone! Such a big spit fire for such a little person - lol.

He reminds us quite a bit of Trent's brother Josh. Who by the way, is coming to live with us in July! Yay for a full house of awesome people. Keri will only be with us a total of 2 weeks, but at least we get that time with her :). yay!

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Oh and happy mother's day to all the wonderful mommies out there! I know I wouldn't be the same without my wonderful mother and all she's done for me!

time flies ~

Time flies when your having fun!! Little Blake turned 4 months on Friday! He really is so much fun, and I find myself just holding him all the time when he sleeps. Trent is like, "You really can lay him down you know." haha.

Jack and Blake are still good buds. Jack still really looks after him. Blake is constantly trying to stand up and see the world. I have a feeling he won't stay on the ground too long before he is going going! He can sit himself up with a bobby around him and he just looks so pleased with himself, he will occasionally put himself to far forward where he needs help sitting back up. He is starting to sleep through the night, with the occasional feeding in the middle. He ALWAYS smiles at daddy, and is at the stage where he is enjoying his drool. He is grabbing onto blankets and toys, and is happy as long as he is sitting on your lap viewing the world around him.

Blake is 25 1/2 inches long (70th percentile), and 15.9 lbs (70th percentile).

Jack was 26.7 inches long, and 17.6 lbs at 4 months.