A Mother's Love

Something happens when you become a mother for the first time. Not only does your whole world change, but your whole view of the world changes right along with it. I use to always hear the term, 'motherly instinct' and just figured that it was just a saying... until I experienced it.

I was never all that great with children or babies. I thought they were cute enough, sure. But if you would have ever asked me to hold a baby.. I probably would've held it like a football. Actually, I did once. I looked to my friend while holding this child, "Am I holding him right?". 

She looked at me trying to hold back her giggling, "Um, are you comfortable?"

"No." I replied.

She just smiled back and said, "Then he's probably not comfortable either."

To be completely honest, children made me uncomfortable. I didn't know how to deal with them, I didn't know how to talk to them, I didn't know anything. And you are right to assume that I didn't babysit much. I could count all the times I did on one hand alone.

But I knew I wanted a family. I knew it as early as I can remember. I remember thinking to myself when I was very young, "Okay, now remember how you feel so you can relate to your own children when you get older."

When I first found out I was pregnant with Jack, I was so excited. Even though I had no clue what I was getting myself into. Then the craziest thing happened when he was born.. it was like everything fell into place. It was as if I had known what to do all along. This was probably what people were referring to as, 'motherly instinct'.

Now don't get me wrong, I make plenty of mistakes. But my role as a mother now makes me view the world in a different light than I did before. If I hear about anything bad happening to a child, it physically hurts me. I mean, I was sad before, but this is different. What changes in a mother's body after she gives birth?

Even when your nurse a baby, what happens in a mother's brain to experience the 'let down' of her breastmilk? Why does a baby's smile have the same affect on a mother's brain as cocaine? Why even after we are tired, beat up, sleep deprived, and weak.. we still have a hard time being away from our children for more than a few hours? It's like there is some kind of force that is pulling me back to them.

I can go on wondering about all these unexplained things.. but I do know this~ each and every one of my children is a blessing. Every child in this world is a blessing. This world, my life, wouldn't be the same without them. I am thankful to be able to experience this unexplainable phenomenon that is motherhood.

 "Mothers are endowed with a love that is unlike any other love on the face of the earth." -Marjorie Pay Hinckley

They grow up so fast. Enjoy the sticky fingers and sweet spirits of your little people. Sometimes just getting down on the ground and enjoying their imagination, seeing their smiles toward you, make everything in the world perfect.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I am writing this post, my two oldest boys are playing hide and seek. Blake came and hid under a blanket on the couch. Jack was being sweet and looking in random places saying, "Hmmm.. are you in the dog kennel? Are you around the corner...?"

And then I hear this soft voice from under the blanket, " I under ban-ket."

haha! He may not have the whole hide and seek thing down yet, but they still are thoroughly enjoying themselves  :) !